My Million Dollar Idea

Alan and I have been turned down for mortgages by every major and minor bank in the land.  And I'm not sure why.

The interview usually goes something like this:

Us: Nodding silently and respectfully.

Loan Refuser: Your credit rating is perfect.  That's good...

You've made some money in the last year...

Property's assessed for more than what you're paying for it....

Oh, wait.  You're asking for a mortgage because you actually need the money to pay for the property? 

Sorry.  No can do.

And that, as they say, is that.

So why do these people have jobs?

Banks could save themselves hundreds of thousands of dollars a year if they just made mortgage refusal application part of the voicemail menu:

For service in English, press one.  If you know the extension of the person you wish to speak to, enter it now.  If you need a mortgage, please hang up and save us all a lot of hassle.

Bank managers, email me for my fee schedule....