Friday, June 19, 2009

The Facebook Police Will Get Her

A friend of mine is thirty-something years old and she's not on Facebook.

I know, I could hardly believe it myself, but there you have it.  I'm worried for her, because, as I understand it, a Facebook page is required for everyone in her demographic.  Like a social insurance number, or sleep deprivation.  There's no choice.

One day the Facebook police will show up at her door.  It'll go a little like this:

Beefy Facebook Police Officer: Ma'am, is it true you have no Facebook page?

Thirty-something: Um, no.  I'm really...

Beefy: Ma'am, you are in violation of the Internet Code.  I'm afraid we're going to have to take away your thirties.

We're bumping you up to 65.  Those kids you like to spend so much time nurturing?  Are now your grandkids.

Thirty-somehting: But...

Beefy:  Your arthritic hip will be delivered in the morning.

It'll be ugly, that's for sure.

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