They were never unplanned.
Far from it. They were wanted. Planned (with almost military precision). Desired. Craved for.
Their forthcomingness was greeted with joy. Excitement. Hope.
They left.
With tears and blood and pain. Ultrasounds and trips to doctors and hospitals.
Four times we started down that road. Four times we were turned away.
Until one day we said Enough!
Meaning: enough sadness. Enough pain. Enough of the drugs that made me not who I wanted to be. Enough anger and fighting and saying things I will forever regret.
Enough crying. My twenties were awash with tears.
And now, twenty years later, we say Enough!
Meaning: just us two? That is enough. It is plenty, in fact. It is so much more than I thought it ever could be. So much more than I deserve.
Enough.
3 comments:
Wow -- what a beautiful and powerful post.
Blake wrote:
"You never know what is enough until
you know what is more than enough."
You've found enough, Barb. It's a wonderful thing to find, isn't it?
best,
douglass
Wonderful, indeed, douglass.
And thanks to both of you for your comments!
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